Saturday, October 4, 2008

Decisions, decisions.

Despite the simple sock and the blanket that are already on the needles (things I can't pick up as I was knitting them while my father was dying), despite the vest that's ALMOST done, despite the cardigan that needs sleeves and a yoke, despite the cardigan that just needs to be seamed...

I'm thinking about starting another sweater. Yup, really. I started swatching for Mr. Greenjeans last night. I've been obsessing about what size to knit, but I think I've accepted that I'm knitting the medium. I think the critical decision with this sweater for me will be where I start the ribbing section - and yes, I'm going to decrease a needle size for the cable and ribbing section as otherwise, the sweater won't have enough shaping on me, and it's a pretty boxy fit. I still need to wash my swatch. I get stitch but not row gauge with one needle, and row but not stitch gauge with the larger needle. I prefer the fabric on the smaller needle, go figure. The yarn's a screaming electric blue color, (Louet Riverstone, color Royal if you're wondering) and I'm not entirely certain about it, but it was a good deal at Webs.

Anyhow. Pretty clearly I haven't been doing a lot of knitting. I haven't been sleeping a lot either. Much of my time I've spent playing with this:
I sometimes impulse shop when I'm anxious (usually for yarn or electronics.) So I have a new iPod nano, in shiny shiny green. And I got a Nike + sport kit, a cool little gadget that allows me to obsessively track my runs using a chip in the shoe and a receiver that plugs into the iPod. Now I like running even more because I make graphs! Yes, I really am that much of a geek, but data is good. There is an annoying flaw in the system and I've lost information for about 3 of my runs so far, but theoretically a fix is in the works.

I've also been obsessively playing word games on Facebook. I am ashamed, but I have been totally sucked in.

I also restocked on coffee.

This weekend I cleaned my house, which was filthy, and I made cookies. I normally go for things that don't require box mixes, cereals, and that sort of thing, but these taste really good. Plus, they allow me to sneak fiber into my son's diet. Hah.

Tomorrow is Monday. I'm not happy that I have to go back to work. This probably sounds terrible, but I'm really tired of well-meaning people asking me if I'm okay. I'm not, honestly, but my way of coping at the moment is by living in denial. Anyhow. Hope everyone has a good week.


Elizabeth said...

Hang in there. It's ok to be not ok right now. Grief doesn't follow a set timetable. However you are on any given day, your job is to accept it. Even if you feel like you're too happy because it's too early. Down the road you'll have days when you'll think you're too sad because so much time as gone by. Feel the feelings and accept them.

Bells said...

I know what you mean about the well meaning concern. I try to just go with it but sometimes, it's hard.

Love the nano, and the gadgetry!

I'm tempted by Mr Greenjeans too but have been stalling.